"It is undignified for a 34 year old woman to have a crush."

This is a post from a very old blog I had years and years ago, that always makes me laugh when I read it-I'm assuming I still have permission, so I'm re-posting here...

I have got to share this- and before anyone gets on my ass about it, I asked for and obtained my friend's permission to post this.  So fa fa fa.

Background: I got a e-mail tonight from an old college friend- it's part of an e-mail rally we started last week, and we'll call her "Dayna" because, well, that's her name- and I still haven't stopped alternately snickering, cackling, and outright guffawing at this.  (You'll soon see why.)  The upshot is that she is smitten with a man she works with, and has completely lost her mind over it.  To wit:

K-

I could listen to his voice all day...

You know how some guys have that low pitch to their voice, like if they sang they would probably be a baritone?  And if they were like talking in your ear during sex it would be even lower?  THAT'S what his voice sounds like.   The voice alone would do it for you.  Like never mind his eyes and body and personality- and they're all top shelf, I'm not lying- the voice would be the clincher.  The voice just seals the deal.  Like GONE with no return. 

 

It is very undignified for a 34 year old woman to have a crush.

 

:)

 

-D

 

To which I promptly responded:

 

Ms. Dee-

 

 

You are correct.  It is undignified for a 34 year old woman to have a crush.  However, since you lost any last shred of dignity you had years ago (Thanksgiving weekend freshman year- we don't forget!)  I don't see where this presents a problem.  (heh heh heh)

 

You've lost your mind, darling  You have truly lost your mind.  Of course, I had to tell my friend Alicia about this, and after we both stopped laughing at your "effusiveness," for lack of a better word, she said the same thing.  Bitch has done lost her mind. 

 

But if you want my opinion- and if you don't, well that's tough shit; you'll get it and like it- I say go for it.  What the hell, you know?  Just keep it out of the office, and pray that it ends well- like, in marriage or death.  (Excuse the cynicism, but you know where I've been coming from lately.)  Keep me posted on new developments- like if he passes you any notes in the hall between meetings.  :p 

 

All joking aside, good luck and have fun.  And let me know if he has a brother.  (hah!)

 

-me

 

(By the way, she chickened out and never asked him out.)