My Personal "Best Of" List

I.  Love.  Makeup.  Love it.  It's my favorite thing to buy besides lingerie.  I've been wearing makeup since I was twelve- technically, since I was ten, but without mom's knowledge- so I've been wearing it for about...yeah, we'll just say a long time now.  I was a counter girl for a few really big companies when I was in college (can you say 'dream job'?!) and did makeup for some photo shoots and fashion shows for a friend of mine.  Suffice to say, I am slightly obsessed.  What I've always liked the most about it is the creative, artistic aspect of it- to me, it is just like painting, but my face is the canvas and my medium comes in slightly different forms.


Anyway, I've used a lot of products over the years, and have evolved my own personal 'Best Of' list of things that I love and that work well for me personally.  I know the list excludes some products and formulations, but if there are things that you know of that you like, please share- I always love to hear about them, and experiment!




Best Lip Gloss


MAC Lipglass 
Buxom Big & Healthy Lip Polish 
mark. Glow Baby Glow and Glow Baby Glow Luxe Hook Up Lip Gloss 

These glosses are long- wearing, moisturizing, non- sticky, and come in a great array of colors and finishes.  The Buxom gloss also has a plumping effect.




Best Powder Eyeshadow


Nars (single and duo)
MAC
Urban Decay
mark.
Smashbox 


These shadows are extremely long- wearing and crease- resistant (even without primer,) long- lasting, highly- pigmented; they give great color payoff, and come in such a huge selection of colors and finishes- there is truly something for everyone, every look.  Some are a bit pricey, but you definitely get your money's worth.




Best Powder/ Powder Foundation


T. LeClerc Pressed and Loose Powder
Nars Pressed Powder
MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus Foundation


T. LeClerc is bar none the best powder out there.  They have corrective shades, foundational shades- and all of them give a smooth application and beautiful finish to the face.  Used alone or as a finish to liquid foundation, they add light and flawlessness to the face.  Nars Pressed Powder is a very close second- and more readily available, particularly in the States.  MAC Studio Fix is the best powder foundation I've ever used.  I've used this for 17 years now, and while I've tried other powder foundations, I always come back to this because nothing- but nothing- compares to the quality, color range, wear and finish of this product.
(A note on foundation- I, personally, hate it.  Just hate it.  But this one I love, because it doesn't feel heavy and cakey like most liquid foundations.  I offer this solely as a personal preference.)




Best Powder Blush

Nars Powder Blush

This is the best one I've ever used.  Ever.  Gorgeous color palette; smooth, even application; long wear.  Nothing else comes close.



Best Mascara


Lancome Definicils
MAC Pro Lash
Nars Larger Than Life Mascaras


Three-way tie for best in this category:  Definicils is my perennial 'go-to', another product I've been using for 17 years.  MAC is a relatively new find for me, but it's excellent.  And the Larger Than Life mascaras are a vast improvement on the old Nars formulation.  Love all of these because:  great formulas coat evenly, don't clump, don't dry out lashes, lengthen, define, and give just enough volume; brushes are extremely well- designed.  Keepers, all.


Best Eye/Lip Liner

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Eye Liner and Lip Liner

I'm putting the two together because these liners are the best Urban Decay products, in my opinion.  The eye liner does indeed glide on- so snoothly, without skipping or tugging- and once it sets, it will not budge, smudge, smear or move.  Until you take it off.  Same goes for the lip liner- smooth, creamy application, doesn't dry lips out, and lasts for ages.  Great color range and payoff with both products.  And the lip liner comes in a clear shade called Ozone, which can be used with any color/ type of lip product.  Genius.


Best Concealer

MAC Select Moisturecover
Urban Decay 24/7 Concealer Pencil

Both give excellent coverage and can do double- duty as shadow primer.   Also, both are very long- wearing.  The Select Moisturecover has a liquid texture and doe- foot applicator, which I like for application.  The 24/7  Pencil is extremely portable.  Both blend wonderfully, and work with powder/ powder foundation.




I know I'm probably forgetting some things...

Party Tips...

Forget exactly where I found this, but it's funny and it's just common sense...

"If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up the next day, and call you to say they had a nice time.  Now you’ll be expected to throw another party next year.  

What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guests wake up several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they’ve been indicted for anything.  You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another one.  

If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door, unless your party is very successful, in which case they will lob tear gas through your living room window.  As host, your job is to make sure that they don’t arrest anyone.  Or, if they’re dead set on arresting someone, your job is to make sure it isn’t you."

 

The Madbint's Guide to Holiday Drinking

Let's face it- most holidays suck.  And frankly, most of them only exist as an excuse to drink.  (Just my opinion; not saying it's right or good or anything...)  So with that in mind, I made a list of holidays and why we should drink on them (mainly so people will stop calling me a lush...)  Here we go:

New Year’s Day- To kill the hangover, if not your ambition and resolutions.

Valentine’s Day- Even if you’re involved with someone, it’s usually a good idea.

Fat Tuesday (the day before Ash Wednesday)- It’s traditionally the day to indulge yourself before the beginning of Lent- so celebrate by getting completely obliterated.

Saint Patrick’s Day- Duh.

Arbor Day- Drink to the trees! Because without the trees, we’d have no oxygen, and without oxygen, we can’t survive! So drink to the trees, damn it! Because they can’t.

Derby Day (the first Saturday in May, when the Kentucky Derby is run)- This is one of my favorites- lots of bourbon, betting, and big- ass hats. The best part- you don’t have to like horsies to drink a Mint Julep (or twelve.)

Memorial Day- It’s traditional, yeah; it’s the official beginning of summer, yeah…also, see any pictures from a Hovelhouse Memorial Day bash.

Independence Day- Not because it’s the birth of our nation, because it’s MY birthday, goddamn it! So let’s get plastered and have a Roman candle fight! And, I suppose, celebrate the birth of the nation by blowing up a small chunk of it.

Labor Day- The official end of summer…let us mourn…and drink to forget the fact that we work a crappy job 50 weeks out of the year and only get ONE stinking day in our honor.

Halloween- Once you hit the legal drinking age, Halloween becomes a LOT more fun. Dress up and get smashed- just don’t hand out nippers to the kids for Trick or Treat. Those go to the big girls and boys.

Thanksgiving- Nothing like a big- ass turkey dinner and the prospect of spending a day with contentious relatives to make you buy extra wine.

Christmas Eve- Any family holiday with religious overtones begs for over- consumption.

Christmas Day- See above. And keep drinking.

New Year's Eve- Because another crappy year has gone by- thank Christ! Now let's drink to the new! 

"It is undignified for a 34 year old woman to have a crush."

This is a post from a very old blog I had years and years ago, that always makes me laugh when I read it-I'm assuming I still have permission, so I'm re-posting here...

I have got to share this- and before anyone gets on my ass about it, I asked for and obtained my friend's permission to post this.  So fa fa fa.

Background: I got a e-mail tonight from an old college friend- it's part of an e-mail rally we started last week, and we'll call her "Dayna" because, well, that's her name- and I still haven't stopped alternately snickering, cackling, and outright guffawing at this.  (You'll soon see why.)  The upshot is that she is smitten with a man she works with, and has completely lost her mind over it.  To wit:

K-

I could listen to his voice all day...

You know how some guys have that low pitch to their voice, like if they sang they would probably be a baritone?  And if they were like talking in your ear during sex it would be even lower?  THAT'S what his voice sounds like.   The voice alone would do it for you.  Like never mind his eyes and body and personality- and they're all top shelf, I'm not lying- the voice would be the clincher.  The voice just seals the deal.  Like GONE with no return. 

 

It is very undignified for a 34 year old woman to have a crush.

 

:)

 

-D

 

To which I promptly responded:

 

Ms. Dee-

 

 

You are correct.  It is undignified for a 34 year old woman to have a crush.  However, since you lost any last shred of dignity you had years ago (Thanksgiving weekend freshman year- we don't forget!)  I don't see where this presents a problem.  (heh heh heh)

 

You've lost your mind, darling  You have truly lost your mind.  Of course, I had to tell my friend Alicia about this, and after we both stopped laughing at your "effusiveness," for lack of a better word, she said the same thing.  Bitch has done lost her mind. 

 

But if you want my opinion- and if you don't, well that's tough shit; you'll get it and like it- I say go for it.  What the hell, you know?  Just keep it out of the office, and pray that it ends well- like, in marriage or death.  (Excuse the cynicism, but you know where I've been coming from lately.)  Keep me posted on new developments- like if he passes you any notes in the hall between meetings.  :p 

 

All joking aside, good luck and have fun.  And let me know if he has a brother.  (hah!)

 

-me

 

(By the way, she chickened out and never asked him out.)

One of the Best Takes on Humanity I've Ever Read...

And the reason why Tim Dorsey is one of the funniest, best writers EVER...a very brief excerpt from "Nuclear Jellyfish."
 
"Serge placed a hand on his pal's shoulder.  'Coleman, there are three- and only three- kinds of people in this world: Those who don't know they're damaged and blame others; those who realise they're damaged and blame others; and then people like you and me, who wear damage like comfortable pajamas.'

Coleman swigged from his pint bottle.  'Mine are the ones with the little feet.'"
 

The Madbint's Guide to Hangover Makeup

Yeah...even though it's the last thing I want to do when hung over, I can finally admit that I need it. Especially since I've gotten into my thirties. I never had this problem when I was in my twenties- or if I did, I must have had more sick time then and just didn't go into work, I don't know. Then again, I did wear make-up more often back then. At any rate, I either need to stop drinking or stop being so damn lazy. So I'm probably going to stop being so damn lazy.

I realised this last Friday morning, when I went to put my contacts in and took a good look at myself. Blood-shot eyes, skin that looked like the Sahara Desert, undereye circles so dark it looked like someone decked me...you get the idea. So over the weekend I evolved a little routine to make the ravages of alcoholic excess a bit less noticeable- look-wise, anyway. I take no responsibility for the health of anyone's liver, and certainly not my own.

So here we go:

1. Take last night's make-up off. Because you know were too trashed to do it then.

2. Once your face is clean, MOISTURIZE (capitals intentional.) Alcohol sucks moisture from your body and makes your skin look dry and papery. And OLD. Slap on half a bottle- with sunblock, of course- to remedy this. If your skin tone is uneven, you can mix a little foundation in, or use a tinted moisturizer. Don't use a lot- you're not going for full coverage or perfect finish here, you're going for damage control.

3. Concealer will help with the dark circles- apply as usual.

4. Lip color- use it. It'll make you look less sickly. Don't worry about formula- even a gloss, if you use a bit more than usual, will help.

5. If you want to fool with eye liner and mascara, do so at your own peril. Personally, I won't go anywhere near my eyes with a mascara wand or eyeliner pencil when I have the D.T.s. But if you really want to, or your hands aren't shaking that badly, or you just feel like living dangerously, a little will go a long way to perking your face up. If you're smart, or just really not up to it, sweep a neutral-colored shadow over your entire eye area to brighten it up.

A couple of other things- drink lots of water throughout the day, and eye drops help with the redness.